NOW THAT BARACK IS THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, DOES THAT MAKE US AN OBAMA-NATION?
(We thought of this joke before the book came out! - A version of it has been on our website since November 2007!)
NOW THAT BARACK IS THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, DOES THAT MAKE US AN OBAMA-NATION?
(We thought of this joke before the book came out! - A version of it has been on our website since November 2007!)
|
TEAM DEMOCRAT |
||
 |
AMELIA WORTH "WORTH her weight in gold!" |
Daughter of the first woman to work for NASA. Has dedicated her life to putting cracks in that glass ceiling. ...oh yeah, and she has Tourette's syndrome. |
 |
PROTON ADDAMS |
Mad Scientist. Supports stem cell research and human cloning. HATES the Addams Family. LOVES Frankenstein movies, nuclear energy, and long walks on the beach. |
 |
CLINT JEFFERSON (but his good friends call him Bill) |
Do we really need to say more? Cigar anyone? |
 |
LILY ROSES |
An inconvenient Environmentalist. Al Gore is made of wood...Coincidence? We think not. |
 |
FREEDOM FRYE |
A hippie holdout from the acid trips of the 1960s. PERSONAL MOTTO: Veni, vidi, munchies. |
 |
JOY FREUDE |
Her laugh was declared torture by the Geneva Convention. The Bush administration immediately hired her as a Guantanamo Interrogator. Joy has 0 friends on MySpace, FaceBook, LinkedIn, and every other social networking site she has joined. |
TEAM REPUBLICAN |
||
 |
EDWARD HISCOCK |
Lifelong politician. Was George W. Bush's best man and lap dog. His first act as president will be to impeach the Dixie Chicks. Baby Edward's first word was Fillibuster. He is 72 years old and has a trophy wife. |
 |
ANDREW BROWN |
Motivational speaker. Extremely well thought out and eloquent ... if you can read the subtitles. Moderate Republican |
 |
BUCK BROWN |
Celebrity and A-List Actor ... because every modern election has one. |
 |
JUNE REED |
Very hot, very bored housewife and country club mom. Stands for traditional family values ... most of the time. |
 |
SKIP |
The Pizza Delivery Guy ... because every comedy has a pizza delivery guy. |
 |
WILLIAM "SLAUGHTERHOUSE" JOSEPHS |
High ranking Pentagon official. Disapproves of "premature withdrawl." Thinks we should "stay the course" to "achieve mission accomplished." Hates "quotation marks." |
TEAM INDEPENDENT |
||
 |
SHAWNA LEMONJELLO |
A no nonsense, pitbull, kick your ass politician. Hates Lemon Jello, but is addicted to chocolate. |
 |
APRIL FLOWERS |
Former porn star, turned porn executive. Solidly backs the first amendment. Stands for freedom of "communication" between humans, animals, farm tools, and others. |
 |
2 KUL 4 U |
A South Coast rapper with a message ... if you speak Snoop Dog. (His real name is Curtis Hussein Blingy-Z. Who names their kid Curtis Hussein Blingy-Z?) |
 |
MRS. JONES |
Has taught the 3rd grade for over 25 years. Stands for the three E's: Education, Education, Education. If she knew what MySpace, FaceBook, and LinkedIn were, she too would have 0 friends. |
 |
JOHN FITZPATRICK |
Thinks the world is controled by aliens. John spends too much time watching the X-files and checking out internet conspiracy sites. |
 |
FORREST |
He's running for president. Hobbys: Pingpong, sitting at bus stops. |
And introducing... |
||
 |
THE MODERATOR |
Discovered in a strip club. Got this job because she was "highly qualified" ... if you know what we mean. |